How to avoid the fear of failure and non- acceptance while striving for perfection?
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Have you ever heard of ideal gases?
The law of ideal gases state that under certain conditions (that are hypothetical), a Gas will follow these three postulates:
Perfection sounds so achievable, but when we try to translate it to reality, it reveals itself to be hypothetical. Even gases are not Ideal. They strive to be, but even under the perfect conditions, they just come close.
It’s the same with humans. with the right set of conditions and opportunities, we can come close to what we call perfection. But the criteria for perfection is ever-expanding. So, instead of striving for this fallacy called perfection why not strive for improvement? We can always improve in small increments daily. This will help with the fear of failure as well. Instead of trying to take big leaps, we can learn how to take small steps; just like how a child learns how to walk.
Hope this helps.
This is a valid question, as a perfectionist myself i understand the anxiousness and dread that follows you while performing any task, a major cause of social anxiety aswell.
The best way to avoid this is to continue your progress, practice alone, which will eventually help you gain confidence within yourself. Confidence is not a natural trait it is rather a skill which is aquired over a span of time. The more you continue to strive for perfection, in the race you’ll reach excellence. When a person grows they let failure happen and accept it. They search for the reason behind it and the meaning of that certain event. Once you’ve reached real confidence, even when you’re at your lowest, but somebody or even that one evil voice inside you, tells you that “this isn’t meant for you” , you learn to subconsciously snap back at it with ” only i decide my future”. Perfection is indeed an illusion but excellence isn’t. You only have to teach yourself how to accept and learn from your circumstances. Confidence and determination hence will then lead your way.
Surprisingly, the answer lies within the question. When one is striving for perfection, it’s inevitable truth that they’d definitely be conquered by fear of failure and Non-acceptance. Here’s why.
We are familiar with the term ‘Makeup’, which is no less than what it does ‘make up’ , I hope you find the difference. It’s function itself is to hide flaws, which is very natural, universal and then, attain super artificial state ” Perfection ” Which is far from reality and originality. Here the subject is not makeup but it’s about ones incapability to accept their true self. It’s a paradox that one fails to understand that every creature in the universe is built in such a way to function according to their unique characteristics and qualities. And to speak about fear of failure and Non-acceptance, it’s a bitter truth that it all starts from insecurities that one possess. When an individual fails to accept his/her flaws, they can never make progress. It’s very natural to feel left out Initially, because you are very conscious about your insecurities.
Then, how to get rid of it? First, accept your feelings and whatever you feel need not be the only truth, because you can make improvements by time given. Then take responsibilities of yours on yourself. Invest your time and energy on improving yourself by learning skills that would enhance the quality of your work and life. Yes, you are an Asset! , unless you don’t understand this, you’ll be under dilemma for long time. Working on yourself requires a lot of labour. It all starts from what you prioritize in your life. Ask yourself what is truly important, and what actually matters to you. Once you give a thought about this, you’d definitely find the answer.
We should not fail to understand that “Anything that’s part of nature or creation of nature, can never be perfect but it can be beautiful in it’s own way. And anything that’s perfect is never natural, real, original”. Everyone are designed to be different, to function the events of life in their own ways. Trying to be photocopy of someone else is an insult to the own self and that’s what pushes one to seek validation and acceptance which is of no use. It’s fine to be different!